Amidst uproar over Chris Brown performing and winning an award at the Grammys, amidst outcry from his rumored use of a domestic abuse-related pick-up line, amidst bewilderment of his collaboration with Rihanna on an upcoming song, amidst fascination with an ongoing Twitter warfare that includes CM Punk and Miranda Lambert, one writer has taken matters into his own hands–or rather, placed them in someone else’s. 

In an act of overt irony, Kevin Seccia recently composed and posted an eloquently-written letter offering a $1,000 bounty to the first person who “pummels” Chris Brown on his humorous blog dedicated to punching. Seccia clarifies his offer requires a minimum of two punches, though if you fell the wimpy-looking (his insinuation) Brown with one jab, “it still counts.”